Whether you’re well-versed in the madness of renovations or you’ve yet to behold the craziness that will no doubt ensue, it’s no wonder that living through a serious domestic overhaul will turn even the best of us a little cuckoo.
Since a significant renovation requires a certain level of adapting our living conditions, the fact that we might start picking up some strange habits and odd behaviours is to be expected. If you’ve lived through this first hand, then you know full well what I’m talking about. If you’re new to the renovation game but plan on doing refurbishments in the near future, then this might come as some peculiar news to you.
If you’re keen to relive the crazy days of old, or I’ve piqued your interest and you’re now keen to know where you’re going to end up, then keep reading. I’m going to take you through a list of weird things that you might start doing during a renovation… and it’s nothing to be ashamed of!
Set up camp in the lounge
To normal people whose lives are renovation-free, this probably seems a bit odd, but if you’re pulling up carpets and knocking down walls in the bedrooms then this seems obvious, right? Everyone gathers in the lounge room for a giant family sleepover and we learn that there’s no such thing as personal space in this scenario. Since the one safe space to retreat (the sacred bedroom) is entirely off limits, family time becomes the new norm. Was there ever a better chance to uncover family secrets? I think not.
Bathe wherever humanly possible
Bathroom renovations can be one of the more tricky ones to acclimatise into because… well, personal hygiene and all that! So it’s no surprise that when we’re left without a functioning bathroom we find ourselves taking whatever we can get. Having a quick wash in the kitchen sink may become your new necessary evil. Too many people around? Better stop off and buy some baby wipes on your way to work. If you’re lucky enough to have a gym membership then you’ve really hit the jackpot! If not, then maybe you’ll drop by Steve’s place with a bottle of red in exchange for some sweet, sweet, bathroom action (which is now code for ‘a shower in privacy’). Don’t worry though, it’s just for another month. Or two. Or three.
Expect to pack on some kilos
You might be a staunch believer in healthy eating, but this will probably go out the window once renovations truly begin. Why? Well, if you’re undertaking kitchen refurbishments then it goes without saying that you won’t be doing much in the way of cooking or food prep. Instead, expect a vast majority of your meals to now come from the fish and chip shop down the road or the burger joint across the street. Basically, you won’t be in full control of your food intake until renovations have ended. Unfortunately, this doesn’t just apply to kitchen renovation either, any refurbishments going on in the home will generally make life more difficult and whenever life gets hard, we lose motivation to take care of ourselves. On the bright side, you’ll have the perfect excuse to try every restaurant and takeaway shop in a 10km radius!
Bunnings will become your second home
A lot of people swear by Bunnings and genuinely love a chance to hit up the nearest hardware store on a Sunday arvo. You might have been one of those people once upon a time… until the day of renovations arrived, that is. You now live there. All the staff are on a first name basis and you don’t even need to ask directions anymore because you could find those ½ inch galvanised bolts with your eyes closed. You eat there, you nap there, you have long and meaningful chats with Merryl, and you somehow managed to accumulate 25 new houseplants in the space of a week. On weekends you treat the kids to a sausage sizzle and a chance to run up and down the aisles while you stock up on the ‘essentials’, then come Monday, you do it all again.
Everything ends up somewhere else
When you’re in the midst of renovating, any notion of belonging goes out the window. The TV used to live in the lounge, now it’s precariously balancing atop the fridge until those floorboards go down. The toaster has now migrated into the laundry and the couch has taken up residence in the kitchen. Think that sounds crazy? You’ve never lived through a renovation. There is always a method to the madness, and the madness becomes your new way of life. Just embrace it, you’ll come out this a well-adapted and harmonious person because of it. Believe in the process.
Give yourself over to the renovation Gods
Chaos will reign and you will learn to live with it. Renovations have a way of throwing your whole life into disarray. You will forget what order and control even means before long, and slowly relinquish your dominion once you realise there’s nothing left to lose. You may not be able to prepare lunches in the kitchen anymore, that’s ok, let’s try the living room. You have no idea where your work shirts went so you’ll need to spend half the weekend checking every loose bag of clothes you can find strewn around the house. Obviously you can’t shower in the bathroom so you’re just going to wait until Sunday lunch at your mum’s house. There’s no such thing as a laundry right now so you’re going to take a trip to laundromat for the first time since you moved out of home. There’s always a way around the inconvenience, you just have to make sure that you don’t let the stress get to you, and instead make the most of this renovation madness. It’s not every day you have an excuse to lose your marbles. So you might as well have fun with it!